On being (a)social

I have a confession to make. One that will shock you, I know: I’m not that into blogging. (Ive been making an attempt to blog on a more regular basis, but who knows how long that will last.) I spend a little more time on Facebook than I do here, but not much. Mostly, you’ll find me on Twitter, but even then, compared to most of the Twitterati, I’m barely there. My non-writer friends who don’t use Twitter for conversations are probably laughing at that, but it’s true. I tweet far less than any writer I know.
I suppose it’s no surprise I should be a social networking wallflower since I’m even more so in person. It’s not that I don’t like spending time with friends, it’s just that it seems to take a gargantuan effort for me to engage with anyone. The very idea of “hanging out” can exhaust me, let alone the prospect of a party or club. The most I can manage is a quiet weekly tea with a very small group, and even that I sometimes have to force myself to do because of all the other people I might incidentally have to interact with along the way.

So when it comes to socializing for an actual purpose—the whole “building a platform,” networking, and marketing shebang—you might as well tell me to get a clipboard and go down the street and schmooze with the other “do you have a moment to sign this” clipboard people who frequent my neighborhood. (Confession #2: When I see the clipboard people, I sometimes go blocks out of my way to avoid them, no matter how worthy the cause.)

Ultimately,  I have my doubts being social actually sells books. Maybe I’ll feel differently once my book is for sale, but I know I personally don’t buy books because the author blogs and tweets. After I buy a book and fall in love with it I might go looking for the author’s blog because I want to know more about them, find out what they’re working on now and when the next one’s coming out, and maybe where I can meet them at a local book signing.

Do I buy books because I already know the authors through social media? Sure, if it’s something I’m interested in. But even if every single person following me on Twitter bought my book, while I’d be flattered and humbled and pleased as punch, it wouldn’t make much of a dent in the numbers publishers look at (and sadly, not even in my pocketbook.) Most people following me on Twitter don’t even read my blog. In all honesty, outside the Robert Downey, Jr. Effect, I get about three hits every time I post an entry, even after tweeting it from both my author and personal accounts and with an auto-post on Facebook.

I read a blog this morning from an author whose recent post on self-publishing got over 2,500 hits and ended up getting a mention in Jane Friedman’s weekly round-up of the Best Tweets for Writers. Agent-mate Roni Loren was also recently featured on Jane’s Best and regularly gets multiple retweets and comments—and deservedly so. But I can tell you now I’ll never end up on that list, because I don’t write the kinds of posts that merit such attention. I considered it early on and decided I simply can’t give advice—not on writing, not on querying, and certainly not on publishing. I feel profoundly uncomfortable doing so when there’s so much advice out there from so many people better equipped to give it.

What I do instead is more like an extended Twitter feed. I post pictures that inspire my writing, I talk about oddities I’m researching (last night it was the distance across the English Channel and how long it takes to swim it), and every once in a while I share the vagaries of my writing habits, like using the tarot to solve plot problems or taking a shower to talk to my muse. I suppose it’s as much a stream-of-consciousness babble as anything else. But, hey, that’s who I am. If you’re one of the “lucky” few I sometimes see socially, you’re probably used to it. ;)

My point (er, really, I do have one) is that in the end, I wonder if it matters. There’s so much buzz in the social mediaverse that it begins to blur together. I feel the same way at an office party with all the simultaneous conversations going on and the slowly rising voices as each person attempts to be heard above the rest: I don’t hear anything at all but noise and I quickly find an excuse to get out. Maybe everyone else is able to tune out the conversations they aren’t following and focus on the ones that interest them. And maybe those are the same conversations that build true buzz as more and more people at the party gather around to see what’s so interesting. Either way, those are conversations I’ll rarely be in on, as speaker or listener. Most of the time, I’ll just be talking to myself. And that’s okay.


Comments

11 responses to “On being (a)social”

  1. I do know for a fact that some people have started following me on Twitter, and THEN bought my books. So I know it works, to some extent. However, I’m sure a good argument could be made that the amount of time I waste over there isn’t really balanced by the dozen or so sales it’s resulted in. But, I think I like it more than you, also. I don’t think there are any fast and firm rules (other than don’t be a flaming asshole in public). I think you just have to do what works for you. And once your book is actually out, it will help. :-)

    1. Actually, I love Twitter, which is why I spend most of my social time there. I don’t consider it time wasted, though there are many tweets I’d love to comment on and just don’t have time. (The day job tends to cut into those opportunities significantly. I have to stop and think about whether someone from work may be looking at my Twitter feed and thinking I must have nothing better to do.) The impetus for the post wasn’t so much Twitter, though, as reading other blogs that get a ton of traffic and comments. Most of those writers blog daily, blog about writing advice, and spend time commenting on other blogs. I just don’t have it in me to devote that much energy to it. Three times a week is exhausting.

      1. Good lord. Could my reply have been any longer? I could have gotten a whole blog post out of it! LOL.

      2. I’m not a blogger either, I must confess. What is there for me to talk about? Plus, my genre is so tiny and incestuous that one can barely speak without pissing off one faction or another. Even Twitter feels like a minefield sometimes. The Happy Gracious Author mask starts to slip…
        Which is probably why I resort to simply tweeting pictures of hot men.

      3. And I thank you for the hot men. :D

      4. I second the “Thanks for the man candy!” I have no desire to go surfing just for porn, but a simple picture every now and then is… well, candy! Just the right amount.

  2. Does it matter? Possibly. Does it matter to the people who already know you? More likely.
    I enjoy that you share your inspirations, your frustrations, your observations. It just makes you even more *real* beyond our actual social interaction as well as my privledge to read your writing. And it fits neatly with my time available online, at a computer, on my mobile phone, etc. — which is a little like how reading is portable, and done on my time.

    And I always enjoy knowing the author more when I already enjoy the author’s universes in her books. :)

    1. I feel very fortunate to have you in my corner, Cat. :) I should hire you to do my PR. :D

  3. Thanks for the mention. :)
    So I had to smile at the wallflower comment because I am SUCH the shy girl–like probably diagnosable for social phobia at points in my life. I couldn’t even get up the nerve to go up to my favorite authors’ tables at last year’s RWA book signing. Most people would never guess with as big as my mouth is on the internet, but it’s the truth.

    But regardless, here’s how I feel about blogging and the whole social networking thing. You have to do what feels natural to you or it won’t work. I started blogging with the intention of doing book reviews. It somehow morphed into a writing advice blog. And of course I’m no expert, I basically was just researching craft for my own purposes and started sharing what I’d learned. And I guess I’m bossy by nature (only child syndrome) so giving advice came naturally. THen I found Twitter, and well, that’s full blown addiction. I hate Facebook and pretty much phone that in.

    So I guess what I’m saying is–there is no “right” way except to be you and do what you like to do. Otherwise, it will come across to your readers as something you “have to do”.

    As for it “platform” sells books, we’ll see. I did a post and a survey a while back on Do Blogs Sell BOoks (http://fictiongroupie.blogspot.com/2011/03/does-blog-sell-books-survey-results.html) Interesting results. But really only time will tell. I really don’t do it to “sell” books. I do it because I enjoy connecting with other writers and readers.

    So if you don’t like blogging, say to hell with it. :)

    1. It was actually your survey that started me writing this post…that’s how long it took me to finish it! LOL.
      I’m finding my “sea legs” with the blog lately and just posting what I want to instead of thinking “OMG, what should I write about? What??)” like was doing before.

      As far as platform and selling, I feel a bit anxious about my forthcoming release since it’s ebook only, and from a relatively new publisher. I have the suspicion my book’s success is going to depend on whether I can connect with people online, and since I don’t do that very well, I feel I’m already off to a bad start.

      And as for social phobias, I’m right there with you. I’ve struggled with agoraphobia at various times in my life, and right now I work from home, so I have to make myself leave the house for my weekly tea just to keep it from becoming paralyzing.

  4. The best mothering advice I got was “In the end, YOU are the baby’s mother, and YOU know what is best.”
    I got similar advice when I dove into the whole “Look Ma, I’m a Writer!” thing. It is important for an author to have a regularly updated internet presence, but exactly how that presence exists is up to the writer. I love Roni’s blog… except for the fact that when I’m trying to just skim my feed quickly, I’m almost always sucked into whatever she’s posted that day! I also found that I enjoy writing my own blog, although most of my posts aren’t the kind of thing that will “get people talking”. I think it is more important that anyone who might be curious about an author has someplace on the internet they can go to find the basic information they might be looking for, including up to date information about what is available.

    …and I did march right up to the customer service desk with my 3yo in tow and ask “Excuse me, where do you keep your Lesbian Erotica? I’m looking for something by Betty Blue” because I’d come to know her on twitter and was curious about her writing!

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